The interim between making a decision and finally stepping up to fulfilling it is often full of cataclysmic problems. Only ever growing in magnitude. And here, I don't speak for all, but one, that's me. It has never been easy, to go ahead, and create something that's designed in the head. There are only ever unfulfilled doodles sprawled across the sheet of the mind.
And unrequited imaginations.
But this one time, just this one time, universe has literally conspired to take me by a pleasant surprise. Not without initial itches. Itches, more like major skin burns. Metaphor. But really, after scaling mountains as high as Mt. Everest, dying of sunburn, almost cancelling the idea, to going ahead, and cancelling midway, the original plan actually did work out. Albeit, wonderfully.
And here I am, away from home, all alone, for perhaps, the first time. In a place so far away, that far away doesn't even begin to describe it. Figuratively speaking, I'm five states away from home, which is a lot, in my head. My 40 hour journey from home will vouch for it.
And I am volunteering with an organisation that aims towards independence of Tibetan refugees residing in Dharamsala, which I think is an extremely noble initiative. I'm working as a teacher, taking three one hour classes throughout the day, working sometimes with groups, and also, helping hone the individual development, of one student. It's an extremely rewarding task, and there is nothing that lights up my day as much a student getting the spelling of a word right. Simple joys.
Also, I've been writing, reading, making images a lot more. And a part of me doesn't want to go back to the chaos of Mumbai. But what the hell, such is life.
I'm never one to base my trust on lost causes. It just fizzles out, as arbitrarily as it sets in. One moment it's there, and the other it's not, almost like a casual snap of fingers. But whatever the cause may be, my mind is much more at peace right now. Simply because, I'm slowly learning the art of walking out. It's also called the-meditative-state-of-no-fucks-given. But no, really, people can come and go. And then be whining cunts, consequently, but life goes on and all that.
Besides, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
*Says it to oneself, over and over again*
While you're at it, do give a hear to Could it be Another Change by The Samples. It's part of the The Perks of Being a Wallflower soundtrack. The song and the lyrics fit in so well with life, right now, that the song's been on loop for quite some time.
Also, to new entrants in life and old ones - Where would I have been without you all. I love you. You know who you are.
P. S. Post title courtesy to the song mentioned in it.
... With An Awkward Smile
6 days ago