Saturday, October 30, 2010

Decisions.

How many times have you come across this certain juncture in your life,when standing by a decision was the hardest thing to do?When you know,doing that,might hurt the person,who you've been with since the past 18 years,whom you love this much?Hard.Its very hard.Trust me,I know.
Its harder,when all your life,people have expected you to do well,in everything.That because that is how it had been all this while.Its not easy to stand up,and say,that "there are things I suck in,too".Self-realisation is the hardest thing ever,and if a person has that,he's bound to go places.
Anyways,I've come to a realisation as well.This ain't meant for me.This life of assignments,practicals,tests.There's death of talent and creativity out here.Its suffocating,you know,leading a monotonous life everyday.There's nothing new to look forward to,nothing to be excited about.Atleast that is how it has been.One and a half month,I hated it.I finally had to wake up to the fact that it wasn't working out.I had to let go of life,often credited to be,stable,sucessful and popular.
You know,what's the hardest part?To go convey it to the person ,to whom this decision could affect the most.It gives you these nervous pangs,and this feeling of guilt.Coz you haven't been able to stand up to their expectations this one time.
It was hard for me too.
But I had to do it.
Now that I'm done conveying about what I think,I feel lighter,but not any less sad. :(

4 comments:

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

hey don't panic so soon... you'll do just fine.
Let the creativity be explored in free time and mass bunks.:P

Rooj Siddiqui said...

I second blasphemous :) don't panic so soon, babe. Its going to feel much more better, give it some time. And take a break, go out with your girls, yeah? It helps :)

Cheers.

Unknown said...

Monotony is harder than sorrow...

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